October 17, 2007

spinning and twirling...

It has been a year since I left Compassion. Can you believe it? And a year since I quit working as producer at church. Almost a year since I went to Africa...

I'm not sure I have much to show for my year. I've enjoyed my time of reflecting and relaxing but the stress of not having a regular job and income is getting to me. And the stress of not knowing what I'm going to do next (and feeling like it is time to make a decision) doesn't help. Nor does the car situation.

I feel like I need to talk about it with someone, but I'm not sure who the right person is. I don't know anyone else who has been where I am- so the next best thing is to find someone really wise who also knows me. I have a few people in mind- I just wish I didn't feel like I was imposing on them by asking for time and advice. I know, that is my own issue.

To top it all off, I have been really wanting to get a pet- my very own. This year I've been getting kitty time and puppy time from my friend's pets, but I'm ready for my own again. But without a good job and some idea of what my future is going to look like, I can't get a pet (family rules, not mine). And not having a pet only adds to my depression...

Sorry, this is really a downer post, isn't it. I'll try to lighten up. The good thing is, it is Wednesday. And that means that my two new favorite shows are on tonight. Bionic Woman and Life. Haven't seen them? You should check them out! They are on NBC.

Okay, so, if you think about it, pray for me- that I would find some direction or make a decision or something. I love the fall but I'm tired of feeling like a leaf on the wind...

3 comments:

Sarah Bennett said...

I can so relate!! You are not to only one looking back on the last year feeling like what happen, what did I do, why do I feel like I am in the same place as a year ago? For some reason God is giving me enough light to know where the path is going day by day. The only problem is I want a high beams. Our situations may not be the same, but is sounds like the journey is similar. I would love to share in your journey even if it is a listening ear. My door is always open to you... you don't even have to call first. (You may want to as we do get out sometimes!) Sorry for the long comment, it just struck a cord with me.

Johanna said...

This is a comment for your Oct. 17th post, but I couldn't find a comment button there...

Sigh...I cannot relate in specific ways to your situation, but I can relate to needing some wise advice from a friend that's been down the road already. That's describes me right now, actually. (The needing advice, not the older/wiser part.) :.) I spent a fair amount of time with God on my question a while ago, thought I got the answer, had peace, and now after talking to someone last night about it...I'm questioning it all over again. I'm employing previous knowledge and somewhat extreme faith now: my questioning and anxiety come from fear and fear does not come from God. Therefore (for today at least), I resolve to wait again on the Lord's answer and pray, pray, pray! My semi-extreme faith comes in to play by trusting God to give me the answer, even if it is the 11th hour, that He will protect me in the situation coming up and my family. I'm trusting that He can handle this and that He's got my back. In the meantime, my human eyes tell me that outcome A will happen if I don't do the thing I want to do out of fear. I'm waiting for that fear to subside and for the Lord to give very clear direction or remedy the situation altogether.

That's a really rambly comment, but at the very least, I hope it gives you some cheer. :.) You get a hug from me, because your place right now is not easy. :.) Hang in there, kiddo.

Sara said...

Sarah and Jo- thanks :) It is nice to get your hugs and encouragement. I am blessed with such amazing people in my life-