October 10, 2007

the dainty little dichotomy of daily living

Here is a blast from my past. I wrote this three years ago, October 2004. Funny (and I mean that in the ironic way) how we come full circle sometimes. I still feel like many of the things I talked about here are relevant. My life is still full of dichotomy...

So now, for your reading pleasure...

dichotomy-noun-division into two usually contradictory parts or opinions. A division or forking into branches.

Okay, so I'm a huge sci-fi fan. I love to play the "What If" game (even to my mental detriment). The idea that every choice we make, every word we speak, every muscle we move, puts us on one possible path of all the choices we had fascinates me.

And then it comes down to reality. When Dichotomy is staring you in the face, like the allegorical figures of old, and he is wielding his very sharp, double-edged sword in your direction, fear and panic wash over and you long for simplicity. Black and white, right and wrong. You wish the Gamekeeper would hand you the rule book and explain exactly what you can and can not do. But the Gamekeeper doesn't come, and you are left there to face down Dichotomy with whatever weapon you have mastered (or worse, whatever you find at your disposal).

While facing this menace, it's easy to feel all alone, confused and unsure of everything you do. To look into the face of a friend and see a stranger, to be expected to offer help when you have no idea that there is a need, to know a person's heart yet hear them speak something that is against all you know about them. You know something so solid in your brain but what you see and feel doesn't line up. In the end, it comes down to faith and trust... just like Peter Pan said. Sadly, I don't think we have any dust... pixie dust.

So, me of little faith has a big journey ahead of me (and truth be know, so much behind me as well). I should be excited, and I am, but I'm also a bit nervous. I've read the stories, I heard the tales, and I know that not every story has a happy ending. It does, however, have the right ending. That's just a hard pill to swallow for the hopeful romantic.

Well, I guess that's about all today (as if that doesn't give you a ton to chew on). I guess I'll just continue down the road... thanks for being there as part of this crazy journey we call life.

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