and I'm off...

...to a great start, that is! After rising early and heading into the office (yep, it figures that November 1 would be a Thursday and I would be working!), and then working all day, going to dinner with some friend (Shelly and kids) and then heading back to church to collate the magazine, I finally got to come home and write. I didn't start until 9:25. With only one break of about 10 minutes, I managed to pound out a whopping 2,250 words. Considering the daily total needed is 1,667, I think I did pretty well.

I know I can write a lot and do it fast. But, unlike many Wrimos, I am actually trying to write something with a bit of value and worthy of being polished and published. So I'm not just writing drivel here! Not that it is overly amazing prose, but it is decent. The same quality I would write any other month of the year. I'm just writing more of it this month.

Well, I think I've earned an Oreo or two and a glass of milk as my reward. Then it is off to bed. After all, tomorrow is another day and more words are waiting to be written!!

for the fun of it...

Do you know what today is? Nope- you are wrong. Well, not wrong, but that is not what I'm asking about. It is NaNoWriMo eve!!!!! For those who haven't been around me in November before, NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month. And what is that, you ask. It is the challenge to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November.

That's write, a novel in 30 days. It can be done and is done many times over every November. I, personally, have done it twice before (2004 and 2005) and I'm excited to give it another whirl this year (and yes, I won both previous attempts!).

I am also the ML for the Colorado Springs region- in other words, I'm the one who organizes events for the city. Thankfully I have some help this year- the lovely Miss Pottenger and my friend Dianna.

So if you are trying to get in touch with me in the next 30 days, I might not answer right away. But don't be alarmed- I'm just writing the next most amazing novel!!

human, thou art a pickle...

Well, maybe not a pickle, but I wanted to say fickle and that looked bad so I didn't want it in the title :). But that has been on my mind lately and I thought I should share.

As most of you know, last November I went to Namibia, Africa, with the PeaceCorps. And I decided to return home a month later. It was a very difficult decision but it was the right one. However, that left me a huge question on what to do now with my life. I was told that I had to wait a year to reapply for PC service (which was and is very much on my mind and heart)- so I thought, fine, I'll wait. And that is what I've been doing.

But as I have waited I've been thinking and praying about what I should do. Just because I want to reapply for PC doesn't mean I should. And for 11 months, God has been rather quiet on that topic (as well as most others, to be honest). I have been so conflicted in my own soul about going or staying that I finally quit asking for direction and begged God to just make the choice for me- tell me what to do and I would gladly do it.

Then, two weeks ago, the engine on my car seized up (basically, it is dead and not able to be revived). This happening on the tail of hitting the raccoon and the $1000 repairs from that. So all the sudden, I am looking at buying a new car or repairing mine to the tune of $3000- Ouch! As I talked it over with my dad I can to see that either way, the car situation has essentially sealed the decision for me because I can't apply to PC with that amount of debt (and as I'm not working, I am in debt for the repairs...).

So, I should be giddy with delight because God made the decision for me, right? But was that my first response? Of course not. My initial response was, "Couldn't we have done something a little less expensive?" quickly followed by "If not PC, then what on earth am I supposed to do?". And then, I got mad that I felt like PC had been taken off my plate- I still wanted that option. It took me several days to realize that God had done exactly what I had prayed for and I was storming around like an ill-behaved child. Honestly, I sometimes wonder why God puts up with me.

This is a new starting point for me. Now that I know I'm sticking around for at least the next two years or so. I still need more employment (because I have the debt to repay- and I hate being in debt of any kind) and it would be nice to have a clue as to what I should be spending my time doing. I'm trying not to miss life in my search for why I was created- but some days that is difficult. Who knows, maybe God will answer Will's prayer and send me a boyfriend (that child wants me married by my next birthday- but Dara is praying for a bit more time so she can be there). At least Will can rest in knowing I'm not going anywhere for the time.

And with that, I'm off to unpack a few more boxes that I've avoided for the last year in hope. I will try not to be so fickle in the future but please don't hold your breath- I am human after all!

not what I really want to say...

I have some deep thoughts to post about, but it is already late and I have to get up early tomorrow, so I can't say what I want to say or I will be super tired for my first day :) Yep, I'm starting a "new" job tomorrow. I'll be the Thursday receptionist at church. I am very thankful for this opportunity as it will give me a chance to be of more service to PRC, give me a little more income and keeps my evenings open for some other job...

But check back soon to hear all that other stuff. And thanks to Sarah and Jo for posting comments and for being wonderful and encouraging and true blessings in my life. Sarah- it was great to talk with you and see you this week. Jo- I miss having you around for hugs and hanging out. One of these days we will have to connive to cross paths in real life again :)

spinning and twirling...

It has been a year since I left Compassion. Can you believe it? And a year since I quit working as producer at church. Almost a year since I went to Africa...

I'm not sure I have much to show for my year. I've enjoyed my time of reflecting and relaxing but the stress of not having a regular job and income is getting to me. And the stress of not knowing what I'm going to do next (and feeling like it is time to make a decision) doesn't help. Nor does the car situation.

I feel like I need to talk about it with someone, but I'm not sure who the right person is. I don't know anyone else who has been where I am- so the next best thing is to find someone really wise who also knows me. I have a few people in mind- I just wish I didn't feel like I was imposing on them by asking for time and advice. I know, that is my own issue.

To top it all off, I have been really wanting to get a pet- my very own. This year I've been getting kitty time and puppy time from my friend's pets, but I'm ready for my own again. But without a good job and some idea of what my future is going to look like, I can't get a pet (family rules, not mine). And not having a pet only adds to my depression...

Sorry, this is really a downer post, isn't it. I'll try to lighten up. The good thing is, it is Wednesday. And that means that my two new favorite shows are on tonight. Bionic Woman and Life. Haven't seen them? You should check them out! They are on NBC.

Okay, so, if you think about it, pray for me- that I would find some direction or make a decision or something. I love the fall but I'm tired of feeling like a leaf on the wind...