April 7, 2011

comfort...

A lot of you out there think that I'm fearless, that because I have an overabundance of self-confidence, that I can do anything. I love you for thinking it, but I have to burst that bubble. I'm human. And while, yes, I am very confident in who I am, there are things that I don't feel comfortable doing (it's not fear, as I know it won't hurt to do it, it's just that it's uncomfortable and I like comfort).

But it's become very very apparent to me that if I am going to be successful in my business then I must get uncomfortable. I have to be willing to step outside the comfort zone. It's a choice, it's a intentional action. And I have to make it and take it.

So today, I did.

It started at the blood bank. I gave the receptionist an Arbonne sample. Now, I've handed out samples, but usually to people that I know or have some relationship with. But I've only see this gal twice, and I only know her name because she wears a name tag (I'm SO bad at asking and remembering names). But after my donation, I stopped to make my next appointment and then I offered her the sample.

And yet, that just put me on the line. It wasn't really outside the comfort zone, just in the borderlines. So tonight I went to my favorite Thai eatery. While I was eating and reading (yes, I take along reading material when I dine alone), a couple with a young baby sat at the table next to me. The dad played with the child (who was three months or less, by my guess), and the little boy smiled at me and we made faces at each other for a few moments.

As I returned my focus to my dinner, I felt that prompting in my gut that I should give them a sample. And sure enough, I had a baby sample in my purse. So I kept eating and thought about it. As the meal progressed, I could tell from the tone of the new mother's voice that she was stressed and a bit on edge. The same prompting told me she could use something nice.

So I pulled out another sample, this one of the firming body cream and body wash. I paid my bill, and then interrupted them for just a moment to share the samples. It took less than a minute--I didn't push, I just said, "Hi. I just wanted to share these amazing baby products with you and your adorable son. And because all new mothers deserve some care, here's something for you. I hope you enjoy them." And then I left.

Yes, my card is in the samples. I hope they call. But even if they don't, I did what I needed to do.

And it didn't kill me. Comfort zone does not equal safety. And stepping outside it doesn't mean danger, just growth.

I'd say that was a good day's work.

April 6, 2011

insanity...

I was watching a channel tonight that I rarely watch (for those who know me well, you are aware that I mostly watch one channel--usa network, the rest is just fluff) and after the show ended (Whose Line is it Anyway?) an infomercial came on...for Insanity.

It's a workout program that is, well, insane. And as I'm sitting here with sore arms from a pathetic workout yesterday, I'm thinking, "hey, I want to do that." Guess it lives up to it's name, because in the state I'm in, there's not a chance on this green and blue world that I could do it.

But the "trainer" guy seemed like someone I could trust--he kept saying things like "you do as much as you can for as long as you can. Don't worry, you'll get better." I mean, wow, that's nice. No yelling at me that I'm scum, no being overly dorky (remember Richard Simmons?), and casting vision for the future.

And if you do the program for 60 days, and send them a before and after shot, they'll send you a free tee-shirt that says, "Insanity," on the front and, "I earned it!" on the back.

Anyway, I did not order the program, more from lack of funds than desire, because we all know I'm already insane.

But do I have to have the newest program to get in shape? It might help, but I don't NEED it. I have a gym membership paid through June of 2012. I have a whole shelf of workout dvd's, from yoga to walking to balance ball. I have the equipment I need to do said workouts.

I just need to do them.

And I'm getting better about that. Last week I made it to the gym twice. No rooster is going to crow about it, but hey, it was two times more than the previous week, and that's not too shabby. This week I've already been once (for the record, in my world, weeks start on Monday and end on Sunday). And tonight I pulled out one of the yoga dvd's I've never done and did two of the four practices--and it was good. I sometimes forget that I really do like yoga.

Tomorrow I plan to get to the gym. In fact, I have to go throw my gym clothes in the laundry so they are ready for me.

And in other news, go read Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl: Wide Eyed Wonder in God's Spoken World. It's by N.D. Wilson and it will blow your mind. And whoever buys me a copy for my birthday will be my favorite person for the whole rest of the month. Promise :P

March 31, 2011

march reading review...

A once-a-month review of the books I read. I'll share quotes when I remember to copy them down.

The rating is the same as Goodreads--5 stars means "it was amazing," 4 is "really liked it," 3 is "liked it," 2 is "it was okay," and 1 is "didn't like it."

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (3 stars)

A fun and whimsical children's book about a castle that moves and the young girl who is under an aging spell. Can she help save herself, the wizard Howl, and the whole world? Just because she's an eldest child (and therefore not going to amount to anything), Sophie faces a life of drudgery until she annoys the Witch of the Waste, who puts her under a spell that makes Sophie an old woman. To reverse the curse Sophie goes off on a grand adventure and ends up in Howl's amazing castle. Well-written and engaging--I'm glad I own a copy.

So Brave, Young and Handsome by Leif Enger (3 stars)

This book was recommended to me by my friend, Scott Myers. The writing is excellent--elegant and raw. I cannot fault Enger's skill in any way, and on that level, the book was a joy to read.

And yet the story still failed to capture me. I had to spend a lot of time in the middle of the story with a character that I despised. It wasn't the storyline that I was interested in, and it made me like the main character less.

I don't see myself going back to this book to reread it. It wasn't a waste of time, and I have a feeling I missed something--maybe that the deeper meaning of the book is just something that I can't relate to.

Favorite quotes: --Love is a strange fact—it hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things. It makes no sense at all.
-- You can’t kill history. You can’t shoot it with a bullet and watch it recede into whatever lies outside of memory. History is tougher than that—if it’s going to die, it has to die on its own.

False Mermaid by Erin Hart (4 stars)

This was the first book by Hart I've read--the title caught my eye as I passed it in the library. Full of mystery, heartbreak, Ireland and botany. Hart's writing is very clean, her story intriguing, and she kept me guessing until the end, which is always fun.

The story of a woman who is haunted by her sister's murder, False Mermaid explores the death of Triona as her sister, Nora, is trying to make sense of her own life. Bring in Triona's suspicious husband, a now 11-year-old daughter, and two men who both have feelings for Nora, and you have enough drama to make things interesting. But throw in the a handful of selkie myths, some Irish fiddles, and plant DNA, and you have a great story. This is third in a series (didn't know, but I'm going to read the other two now!).

Favorite quotes: -- Elizabeth closed the book and held it to her, aware of the new, slightly foreign tenderness of the skin beneath her clothes, wondering what it felt like to shed your outer shell and become something new.
--It has seemed to him that unhappiness had its own distinct scent, and suddenly that sour, stale smell crept into his nostrils. Or maybe it was just acid fumes from the wine and dust from old record sleeves.

The Shadow at Evening by Chris Walley (3 stars)

Any book that says "in the tradition of Lewis and Tolkien" on the front is setting itself up for the big leagues, and in this case, Walley is still very much in the minors. It's more future sci-fi than fantasy (as the front also proclaims), set in the year 13851. I had some trouble getting into the story, first because the premises is rather illogical given what we know of mankind, history and the future (the world is not going to get better but we are slowly moving towards and are even in the final days), and second because the very idea of seeding other planets for human life is so against the ideals that Lewis presented in his own Space Trilogy.

But once Walley dropped a lot of the forced platitudes of a future Christian society, the story flowed better and even got interesting. While it's not epic fantasy, or even epic sci-fi, it was a diverting story with a few compelling characters. And of course, a possible love triangle, which I have already determined the best outcome, and now I'll have to read the rest of the series to see if Walley messes it up or not!

Dance in the Desert by Madeleine L'Engle (3 stars)

A sweet story that tells of a young family needing to cross the dangerous desert. But the child is no ordinary child, and when he is around, the most wonderful things happen. L'Engle doesn't come out ever and say, "This is about Jesus," but it doesn't take much to see that she's telling a "what might have happened" story about when Jesus and his parents fled to Egypt. The artwork was done well, and it was a charming, quick read.

The Book of Tomorrow by Cecelia Ahern (4 stars)

A spoiled rich girl, Tamara, and her mother have to move in with an aunt and uncle after the death of her father. As she bemoans her bleak future, she tries to make the most of her new, simple country life. The local traveling librarian lets her take a mysterious journal--which turns out to be blank. But once she has the book, strange writing appears--writing dated for the next day, in Tamara's handwriting. Worse yet, the events come true. Now she has to figure out if she should accept fate or see what she can do to change it.

Favorite quotes: --But then there are those whose minds are merely a bouquet of stalks that bud as they learn new information—a new bud for each new fact—but yet they never open, never flourish. They are the people of capital letters and full stops but never of question marks and ellipses…
-- I stopped walking when it came into sight. Little me before a big castle. It looked more domineering, more commanding as a ruin than as a castle because there it stood before me with its scars revealed, all wounded and bloody from battle. And I stood before it, feeling a shadow of who I use to be, with my own scars revealed. We instantly bonded.

Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (5 stars)

This retelling of the Psyche-Cupid myth is masterfully handled by Lewis. I've read this one three times now, and this reading was the best. The first time I read it, I struggled to get through it at all. The next time I read it easier but still not wonderful. This time was amazing. I finally was able to see the layers of story, the layers of meaning. Part of the change was in not trying to identify with Orual (the sister) and instead paying attention to Psyche. Through her, the story came alive. This is one I'll be reading again, and soon.

Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery (4 stars)

I hadn't read this one in well over twenty years, and I had almost forgotten how beautifully charming it is. The story of an orphan adopted by two elderly siblings, the story follows Anne from her arrival at Green Gables at age 11 until she's 16 and getting her teaching certificate. What struck me the most about this book was the amazing vocabulary. This is, after all, a children's book, and yet the vocab had me reaching for a dictionary. There is a wonderful quality of language--a quality that needs to be preserved. I'll be reading the other books in the series this year.

Favorite quotes: -- "But it's a million times nicer to be Anne of Green Gables than Anne of nowhere in particular, isn't it?"
-- It was as if all the dreams, sleeping and waking, of its vivid occupant had taken a visible although immaterial form and had tapestried the bare room with splendid filmy tissues of rainbow and moonshine.

The Power of Night by Chris Walley (3 stars)

The second in the series (sometimes published as one volume, The Evening and the Night), this story picks up when the first book left off--the gate has been destroyed, the world of Farhome is on it's own, cut off from the Assembly. And then there are the intruders--the impending evil like no one has ever faced. The love triangle deepens and gets a few barbs. And there is still some heavy-handedness in regards to the spiritual aspects, but now I have to know who ends up together.

The Keys of the Kingdom by Garth Nix

This children's series has seven books: Mister Monday, Grim Tuesday, Drowned Wednesday, Sir Thursday, Lady Friday, Superior Saturday, and Lord Sunday. I gave all but the last 3 stars, and the last, 2 stars.

This is a charming series about a young boy, Arthur Penhaligon, who is selected by agents of another dimension, so to speak, as the heir to the Keys of the Kingdom. The Kingdom was made by the Architect, and it includes the House, the Secondary Realms (worlds like ours), and the entire universe. But her Trustees haven't been very faithful, and her Will has been split into parts and unable to be fulfilled. Arthur is pulled into a world of magic and mayhem where each Trustee has control over a different day of the week. His charge is to fight the Trustee, free the Will, and claim all of the seven keys. But this is no ordinary adventure, since all parts of the universe are connected, the impact of what he does in the House ricochets into his home world--and then there's that pesky side effect of becoming immortal. That's a lot for a young boy who just wants to go home to deal with.

These are well-written, quick reads. Though my friends who are sensitive to magic and alternate creation stories should avoid them, I found them fun and diverting. Not to mention quick reads. Nix is a fantastic writer, and it was fun to explore this world.

That's all (what, sixteen books isn't enough? Hello, I have to sleep sometimes!)

March 29, 2011

long overdue...

If intentions were nickles, I'd be a rich lady...seriously. I have very good intentions to post here more often, I even have great topics and things I want to record. But then life gets crazy or it doesn't, and it doesn't happen. Shame on me.

Anyway, I'm going to not throw all the ponderings I've had the last month your way--not yet, at least. But I am going to update. Right now.

First off, I went back to the gym today--goodness had it been a long time. So long, in fact, that I totally forgot the combination to my lock. Thankfully, I know I tend to forget such things (when you can still recite the preamble to the Constitution, most of the Gettysburg Address, over half of The Raven, not to mention the entire script to The Princess Bride, who can remember three silly numbers?) so I kept the sticker off the back that had them listed. Granted, it took me 20 minutes to find that, but I did. It felt good to get to the gym only because I'm too that point where I hate myself. I also hate working out, but sometimes the one hate is stronger than the other, and then I can go to the gym with only minor complaining (to myself, of course).

More excitingly, I'm starting to plan out the annual CleanPlace Moot--now that we have dates I feel that it's for real (I've had some doubts on if it was going to happen this year, truth be told), and I can now get into the fun of figuring out workshops and guests and details. I love planning things, and Moot just makes me giddy. Every year it gets better and better, and this, being year five, means it will be so fantastic that I might not be able to handle it!

There are several things I'm itching to discuss--things like pilots and co-pilots, the Psyche and Cupid myth, and vocabulary and its impact on society. If any of these topics interest you, let me know. My brain is about to burst keeping it all in!

Hopefully there will be another trip to the gym in the next 24 hours, and maybe some Arbonne fun as well. And I'm going to throw aside my good intentions (since we know where they really lead) and work on not holding all the things I want to talk about inside until I reach this point. Hold me to it!

February 28, 2011

february book review...

A once-a-month review of the books I read. I didn't manage to copy down quotes this month, and a lot of these were library books that have already gone back.

The rating is the same as Goodreads--5 stars means "it was amazing," 4 is "really liked it," 3 is "liked it," 2 is "it was okay," and 1 is "didn't like it."

The Time Machine by H.G. Wells (2 stars)

This is a classic sci-fi, one of the foundational works, in fact. The language was beautiful (I even had to look up several words!), but there was a lack of depth to both the story and characters. I enjoyed the 2002 movie with Guy Pearce much more.

Side Jobs: Stories from the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher (5 stars)

I can't help it; I am in love with Harry Dresden, wizard. And this collection brought together a whole slew of stories (of which I had already read about four) that have appeared in anthologies and special collections. It also had a wonderful new story that takes place right after the end of Changes (book 12). It was so much fun to not only get more of Dresden, but to also see how Butcher's writing has grown and developed. I can easily get lost in a Dresden book...it's a fantastic journey that I can take any time.

Chestnut King by N.D. Wilson (4 stars)

The third in a children's series, this is the conclusion of a fun yet serious fantasy story about a boy who finds worlds lurking behind the 100 cupboard doors in his attic bedroom. I read the first two almost a year and a half ago, but it didn't take much to get back into the story. Wilson is a fantastic author, and readers young and old can enjoy his stories!

The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff (3 stars)

This is one of the books that friends recommended to me for my 2011 reading list. It was a quick read that showed how Pooh embodies the ideas of Taoism. While I'm not much for Taoism, it was interesting to see how relaxed and accepting Pooh is--something that we busy and fear-driven adults sometimes forget.

Austenland by Shannon Hale (2 stars)

I had such hopes for this homage to Austen, but in the end, it was a sad and poorly realized story about a woman who is so in love with the fictional Darcy that she has trouble in real life relationships. The story tried to do too much, and in the end, it is not a story that Austen would likely be impressed by, considering how all the characters, even the good ones, behave.

Healer by Linda Windsor (3 stars)

I picked this one up on a whim from the library. It's a Christian fiction (which I usually have lots of problems with) but the story at least sounded interesting. If we want to get more specific, it's a Christian historical fantasy--which was interesting. The writing was clean, the story didn't disappoint, and it wasn't overly preachy. It was a bit predictable, and it got a little gooey, but all in all, it was a fun read. It's the story of a young woman who has lived in hiding ever since the death of her parents because her mother spoke a prophecy over her saying she would save the clan. When the son of her enemy is hurt outside her cave, she takes him in, not knowing who he is, to heal him. Of course, they fall in love and end the war between their people. There are more books in the series, and I might even track them down and read them!


The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver (4 stars)

Kingsolver never disappoints. While there were points where I lost a little interest in the historical parts (while the novel explores a missionary family, it also explores the history of the Congo), I loved the way the story really made the events personal. Having spent some time in an African nation, it brought back some memories. Kingsolver always weaves a great story, and this one is a must-read if you like story!

Turn Coat (Dresden File #11) by Jim Butcher (5 stars)

A re-read. It was the only one I own that I hadn't read for a second time, so in anticipation of my copy of Changes coming soon, I gave this one another look. What I love the most about Butcher is that he can make me laugh while twisting my guts and making me bite my nails. This story brings in Morgan, Dresden's longtime warden who has spent years just waiting for Dresden to mess up so he can behead the young wizard. But this time, Morgan is in trouble and he comes to Dresden for help. Another one of the major players in this story, Thomas, gets a really raw end of the deal, and it is hard for me to read because I adore Thomas, but it's still worth it.

At Risk by Alice Hoffman (4 stars)

I read this one in high school, but since it's on the CleanPlace reading list, I figured I should brush up. It was even better this time! When it came out, the book was very cutting edge--a story about a young girl who gets AIDS from a blood transfusion. Reading it now, so many years after the first reports of AIDS, it was interesting to see how things have and haven't changed. This is a great book for anyone who wants to see how misconceptions and fear can tear apart relationships.

And there you have all the books I read in February...can't wait to see what's on the docket for March!