July 1, 2010

taking the punishment...

After 32 some odd years upon this planet I have come to realize that I will never like "working out." Over the years I've been told that it's something I would learn to love, that the more you do it the more you crave it. While that might be true for some people, it's not true for me.

Even in grade school I hate gym class (though I did like gymnastics, mostly the flying through the air part, not the attempting to climb the rope to the roof, which I could never do). Track and Field day was the worst day of the year. Sure I could run and jump, but I didn't really like it. Combine that with the fact it was always outside and always near summer (translate--hot outside), and you get a very ill and upset child.

In junior high I was a cheerleader, which I liked, but mostly because I got to cheer and lead--and we never had to run. Running was evil. About this time I developed asthma of the sort that inhalers don't help. Now I had a reason to hate running beyond the not liking it. I played basketball, but again, it wasn't the athletic part I enjoyed, it was the being on a team and the strategy. I do love strategy.

After college pounds settled on, I decided to try and do something, so I joined Curves. While the Curves workout is a good one, I found that I just didn't like going. I didn't like the feeling I got while working out (lightheaded, sick to my stomach, just plain icky). I did like the results, but even that wasn't enough to keep me going on a regular basis.

And here I am again. I got to that point about a month ago where I realized that I was never going to work out at home without some serious accountability, and since my house is too small for two people to work out together (and my BFF's apartment even smaller), I was going to have to go to option B--join a gym. I got a great price on membership to 24Hour Fitness and I've been going 3-4 times a week for three weeks.

And I still don't like working out.

It comes down to this: sweat is gross, having sweat trickling off my face is gross, feeling like I might pass out or throw up is gross. I would much rather be at home or in a park reading a book, better yet, writing a book. I'd rather be watching a movie while knitting a scarf. I'd rather be having deep conversations with friends. I'd even rather get a crown put on my teeth--that tells you how very seriously I don't like working out.

I don't expect to ever enjoy working out--I've stopped believing that lie along with so many others that I've been fed over the years (don't even get me started on the "your prince will come" lie!). But I do it because it's an means to an end, and I do want the end. I want to be healthier, I want to sleep better at night, and I want to like my body a little more than I do right now. So I sweat, even though it's a nasty thing to do, and I work out even though it makes me feel sick.

Just thought you might want to know.


MangyCat said...

A good rant, this was. And all I can say is, hang in there. And perhaps start showering at the gym. It helps--if you don't mind public showers. ;o)

Sara said...

I don't mind them, but I would rather not have to deal with the sweat at all...at any point :P And my rule is I get one shower a day at home, so if I've had that, then I have to shower at the gym if I want to be clean :P I figure I'm paying for water there, might as well save on it at home!